076 882 8681 best to use whatsup

Recommended Reading

Recommended books:
Hold Me Tight

Reading articles and books on relationship theory and practice is often useful and inspiring. A wonderful practice is to take a page or extract a day of an article or book and read it together with your partner and then have a discussion on it. This is a wonderful way of strengthening your connection and getting to know your partner.


Double click on the title to access the article.

When your partner doesn’t have empathy by Dr Sue Johnson. Wonderful short article highlighting a common and stuck pattern between partners and what may be going on underneath it.

Closeness and seperateness by Mirjam Busch & Rudolph Jarosewitsch. Short and useful article looking at the interplay between independence and togetherness in relationship.

Communication by Mirjam Busch & Rudolph Jarosewitsch. Short and useful article that focuses on communication as a means of breaking through barriers that we set up in relationship.

Freedom through intimacy by Robert Augustus Masters. A refreshing reminder that even the most conscious people find relationships challenging, but that if you view them as a tool to work with they can be very powerful.

Levels of conscious connection by Stephen & Ondrea Levine, from their book Embracing the Beloved. Relationship as a path of awakening. This article provides insight into the different ways we connect and how we can deepen our relating.

Stay in the canoe and paddle by Harville Hendrix, the author of Getting the Love You Want. This article refers to many of the tools provided by Imago therapy and emphasises the importance of dialogue.

The honeymoon that never ends by Osho. A look at the importance of relating rather than relationship and the mystical component of relating. Osho is controversial and doesn’t believe in marriage, but his insights into the value of relating are very useful.

The purpose of marriage (Part I, II and III) by David C. Roche, an Imago therapist. This article provides the Imago theories perspective about the reasons why we choose our partners, the purpose of marriage and the 5 Stages of a relationship, with specific focus on the power stage.

Intimate Relationship as a Spiritual Crucible by John Welwood, a Buddhist psychotherapist. This article beautifullt expresses the spiritual purpose and alchemy of relationship.


Hold Me Tight by Dr Sue Johnson – excellent book for couples. The book focuses on seven transforming conversations helping couples to form secure and lasting bonds. This book is written by the author of EFT (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy) which is the therapy framework that I use. Highly recommended.

Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks – fabulous book. Focuses on various relationship commitments and relationship skills, such as “Telling the Microscopic Truth”. Authors emphasis the importance of taking responsibility and the power of Conscious Relationship.

Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch – excellent book focusing on sexual and intimacy issues. The book explores the concept of individuation and suggests that a lot of difficulties arise from being too emotionally enmeshed / undifferentiated.  This book is for everyone, whether you are in a marriage or not.

Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix – Harville Hendrix is the founder of Imago Therapy, a specific and popular form of relationship counselling that uses dialogue to enhance relationships and work through conflicts. Imago therapy is based on the theory that we choose a partner who is similar to one or both of our parents becasue, unconsciously, we want to work through childhood conflicts.

Embracing the Beloved by Stephen and Ondrea Levine – This book focuses on how to use our relationships for profound inner growth and healing. The book has a deeply spiritual feel to it and views relationships as a path to awakening or spiritual realisation.

Non-violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg – NVC is increasing in popularity and this book describes the NVC process and how to work with them.