One of the reasons I’ve put this website together and wrote
Relationship Inspiration posts (under resources) is so that people can get a sense of how I think and work. It’s best to trust yourself and see if there is a resonance with me and what you read – a ‘yes’ feeling.
Every time we get disconnected it’s very useful to repair. Repairing is a way we keep attending to our love bond. When repairing isn’t happening then things can start to build up and get very stuck. It’s best to seek therapy before that happens, before a crisis point. Mostly every couple can benefit from therapy becasue relating is challenging and we all have areas that are hard to hold. Having a safe space to talk through difficult things really helps.
The main therapeutic framework I use is
Emotionally Focused Therapy. This model combines Rogerian and Experiential Therapy, Systems Theory and Attachment theory. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is based on the belief that our primary relationships are sources of love, trust and safety and that a healthy dependency on each other helps us to meet these deep human needs. The therapy facilitates a move from negative interactional patterns to secure, safe and loving connections. Please read more about this framework of therapy on my page
Relationship Therapy. This is a difficult question to answer because it is so dependent on the couple and what their needs are. Couple therapy is considered to be short term therapy. Having said this however, each couple has different histories, levels of distress, needs and strengths. Due to this variety there is no set standard number of sessions. It is good to think of investing for between 10 and 30 sessions, but you can also see how you go and follow whatever you need. It’s flexible! The couple will be able to track where they are in the therapeutic process, how much they are benefiting from the work and what is affordable. Family therapy is usually much quicker than couple therapy and is often only a few sessions.
One of the greatest advantages of Relationship Therapy is that
both people increase their self awareness and simultaneously gain deep insights into the people they care about. Couples and family members learn how to work through conflict while protecting their connection.
Anything we put our love and attention into grows and strengthens. Relationships are no exception. Investing in your relationship and working on conflicts and challenges can strengthen the individuality of each person in the relationship and at the same time deepen intimacy and closeness.
I specialise in couple and family therapy, so I don’t do individual therapy. Sometimes I may need to see individuals in the couple or family for a session on their own, but otherwise the focus is on the couple or family system.
For couples who can’t afford couple therapy FAMSA is a very good option. FAMSA offers relationship counselling on a sliding scale, depending on your income. Contact 021 447 7951 or 021 447 0170
www.famsawc.org.za